The ABC's of Bike Touring

A - Ass: hard, sore, chafed

B- Butt: lean, taut, chafed

C - Can: tender, raw, chafed

D - Derrierre: uncomfortable, aching, chafed

E - Excretor: inflamed, burning, chafed

F - Fanny: bruised, painful, chafed

G - Gluteus Maximus: reddened, ulcerated, chafed

H - Heinie: worn, peeling, chafed

I - Issuer: stressed, hemorrhoidal, chafed

J - Jettisoner: abraded, oozing, chafed

K - Keister: abscessed, distressed, chafed

L - Lap Back: red, ravaged, chafed

M - Moneymaker: itchy, ouchy, chafed

N - Nasty: delicate, sensitive, chafed

O - Oral Roberts: blanched, blistered, chafed

P - Posterior: creased, cracked, chafed

Q - Quacker: flayed, fried, chafed

R - Rump: split, suppurating, chafed

S - Seat: lesioned, lacerated, chafed

T - Tush: bleeding, battered, chafed

U - Unspeakable Crevice: marred, mauled, chafed

V - Volume Maximus: scarred, suffering, chafed

W - Wide Load: aching, offended, chafed

X - X-rated: stricken, scraped, chafed

Y - Yowza: swollen, sweaty, chafed

Z - Zit Sit: courageous, committed, chafed